The biggest thing to remember is that MOST of your lifting force is done with your leg, NOT your right arm. Your left arm on the handlebar should do next to nothing. Get the center stand to touch, put your foot on it, bring the bike to vertical so both sides of the stand touch, then push down with your foot while pulling up with your right hand (I'm grabbing just forward of the rear shock at the moment). Focus on pulling your right left and arm apart, again using mostly your leg. It should come up and roll nicely on to the stand.
Sure, I'm a bit younger, but I'm only 165 lbs. and not that built. It's doable.
As for the handle, I'll settle for a good photo with a few angles. I've considered fabbing one up from scratch if I can't find an original.