Sorry to hear about the theft, I hope you get your bike back, and the thieving b'stards get some kind of payback.
Not much comfort to you but might make you smile: Gospel true story: a mate of mine keeps his old bikes in a barn in his yard: he had a break in one night, they smashed through a wooden shutted window, but on the way in, in the dark, the thieving scrote pulled on a chain for purchase, said chain was attached to a boat anchor, which fell from the roof timber where it was stored, and hit the intruder
First my mate new was the next day, when he went to the barn there was one broken shutter, an anchor on ther floor (which narrowly missed hitting his bikes on the way down) and a trail of blood leading away from the scene.